nobody likes a cockblock

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Nobody Likes A Cockblock

Author : R. Swanson
ISBN : 0692636757
Genre :
File Size : 31. 20 MB
Format : PDF
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Nobody Likes A Cockblock is a full color paperback children's book for adults about woodland creature moms and dads just trying to get their swerve on. It's 32-pages of inappropriate prose that will leave you laughing about your sad life. It's perfect for birthday parties, baby showers, baptisms, and of course, wedding presents.

Where Willy Went

Author : Nicholas Allan
ISBN : 9780375983801
Genre : Juvenile Fiction
File Size : 58. 76 MB
Format : PDF
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Never before have the facts of life been presented in such an accessible—or novel—way. Our hero is Willy, a little sperm who lives inside Mr. Browne with 300 million friends. Every day Willy practices for the Great Swimming Race. And when the day arrives, he swims faster than his 300 million friends to win the prize—a marvelous egg. Then something wonderful happens, and eventually Mr. and Mrs. Browne have a baby girl who has the same winning smile as Willy and who grows up to be a great swimmer. Hilariously funny, warm, and endearing, this is a picture book that appeals on different levels to both children and grown-ups. “Fresh, original, and imaginative. . . . Allan’s achievement is in couching fascinating facts within the construct of a gentle, direct narrative. A little knowledge is a wonderful thing, and as the rest of the facts of life fall into place, Allan’s readers will look back on this book with a mixture of fondness and wry amusement.” —The Guardian (UK)

Monsters Eat Whiny Children

Author : Bruce Eric Kaplan
ISBN : 1442439580
Genre : Juvenile Fiction
File Size : 89. 7 MB
Format : PDF, Kindle
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Dad has warned Henry and Eve: If you whine too much, monsters will eat you. Henry and Eve don’t listen, of course. The only problem is, when the monster comes, he can’t find the right recipe for whiny children—and neither can his monster friends! A whiny child salad doesn’t work because there’s paprika in the dressing. A whiny child cake won’t do because the flour spills all over the floor. And whiny child burgers are out of the question because the grill is too hard to light up. Arguments and hilarity ensue. And just when our persnickety monsters decide on the perfect dish…the worst thing of all happens….

Go The Fuck To Sleep

Author : Adam Mansbach
ISBN : 9780857862662
Genre : Humor
File Size : 45. 55 MB
Format : PDF, ePub
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Go the Fuck to Sleep is a bedtime book for parents who live in the real world, where a few snoozing kitties and cutesy rhymes don’t always send a toddler sailing off to dreamland. Profane, affectionate and refreshingly honest, it captures the familiar and unspoken tribulations of putting your child to bed for the night. Colourfully illustrated and hilariously funny, this is a breath of fresh air for parents new, old, and expectant*. (*You should probably not read this to your children.)

Seriously You Have To Eat

Author : Adam Mansbach
ISBN : 9781617754111
Genre : Juvenile Fiction
File Size : 75. 53 MB
Format : PDF, Mobi
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The 100% kid-friendly, G-rated version of the New York Times best-selling parents' book, You Have to F**king Eat.

Seriously Just Go To Sleep

Author : Adam Mansbach
ISBN : 9781617753497
Genre : Juvenile Fiction
File Size : 82. 39 MB
Format : PDF, Kindle
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"Now there's a version, complete with more of the gorgeous, yet weirdly subversive illustrations. The best part? It's still funny. The rhythms, the plodding rhymes, the illustrations, the clever play on the overused trope of the world at bedtime -- they all work together to take Seriously, Just Go to Sleep beyond parody and into the realm where good children's books belong: things that parents, and children, can honestly come to from different places and enjoy together. I can imagine reading Seriously, Go to Sleep nightly, and even to the point where you're begging the child to choose something else (the ultimate compliment for a picture book) and yet still finding something to enjoy. It captures a different 'zeitgeist' of modern parenting." --New York Times "From the team that touched off the irreverent humor trend Go the F**k to Sleep, author Adam Mansbach and illustrator Ricardo Cortes, comes a new kid-friendly version of their instant comic classic. Seriously, Just Go to Sleep brings children in on the joke, helping them understand their own tactics and why their parents just want them to go . . . to sleep." --Publishers Weekly Critical success for the original Go the F*** to Sleep, a #1 best seller at: New York Times, Amazon.com, Wall Street Journal, Publishers Weekly, and many more! Seriously, Just Go to Sleep is the G-rated, traditional-sized, children's version of the book every parent has been talking about. Go the F*** to Sleep, the picture book for adults, became a cultural sensation by striking a universal chord for parents. Now, Adam Mansbach and Ricardo Cortés reunite with Seriously, Just Go to Sleep, inviting the children themselves in on the joke. As parents know, kids are well aware of how difficult they can be at bedtime. With Cortés's updated illustrations (including a cameo appearance by Samuel L. Jackson, who narrated the audio book version of Go the F*** to Sleep) and Mansbach's new child-appropriate narrative, the book allows kids to recognize their tactics, giggle at their own mischievousness, and empathize with their parents' struggles--a perspective most children's books don't capture. Most importantly, it provides a common ground for children and their parents to talk about one of the most stressful aspects of parenting. Seriously, Just Go to Sleep came to be when Mansbach read a highly censored rendition of the original book to his three-year-old daughter, and she recognized herself as the culprit and was delighted. "We were getting a lot of feedback from parents, saying that their kids loved the book--read in an altered form--because they recognized themselves in the character of the mischievous kid who's winning the bedtime battle, and thought it was hilarious. So we figured we’d do a companion volume that lets kids in on the fun."

Can I Sit On Your Lap While You Re Pooping

Author : Matthew Carroll
ISBN : 9781613129333
Genre : Humor
File Size : 21. 58 MB
Format : PDF, ePub, Docs
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As a single dad, Matthew Carroll didn’t always have someone to share in his frequent laughter and incredulity at the various things his daughter, Morgan, said. Hoping to docu­ment some of her best commentary, Carroll took to recording her choicest quotes on his iPhone when she was between the ages of three and five. He then compiled them chronologically in a small homemade volume for friends and family who, compelled by the hilarious and touching content, encouraged him to share it with a larger audience. Can I Sit on Your Lap While You’re Pooping? is the record of the hilarious, crazy, and touching pronouncements of a little girl, but it’s also the irresistible documentation of the love between a parent and child.

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